I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy — but that could change.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Pernicious lies: Deconstructing AFP Gaza coverage

Slow news day… Stock market jitters – been there. Got out in time. Don’t care… Slow primary day. Racial joke about Obama leaves crowd gasping. This is news?.. Nothing on Drudge. Wish Lewinsky would make an endorsement. That would make talking heads spin… Wait, what’s that?

Israel locks down Gaza

[Trouble in Paradise. Again. What now?...]

GAZA CITY (AFP) — The Gaza Strip was sealed off Friday on the orders of Israeli Defence Minister Ehud Barak, after Israeli air strikes killed seven Palestinians there in a bid to halt near daily rocket fire.

[That’s odd. The Jews kill another seven innocent Pals and then have the audacity to seal off the entire strip? What gall!!]

The move came as Prime Minister Ehud Olmert vowed to keep up raids on gunmen in the impoverished Hamas-run territory.

[So, they kill them first, lock them second and promise to bomb them third. Now, that’s chutzpah…]

In announcing the closure of all border crossings between Israel and Gaza, a defence ministry official said it would remain in effect for several days and would affect both commercial traffic and individual travelers.

[Just a few days. Does not sound all that bad…]

He added that, in the meanwhile, crossings would be authorised to respond to "exceptional humanitarian needs."

[Whatever. Don’t know what humanitarian means to that yid…]

Israel imposed heavy restrictions on movement in and out of Gaza in the autumn after declaring Gaza, seized in June by the Islamist movement Hamas, a "hostile entity."

[Ah, so the Jews have been at it for a while already. Boy they must really have it in for the poor Pals. Why doesn’t anyone do something about it? The world is crazy. Here we have Jews having their way with innocent civilian Arabs. Killing, maiming and now starving the lot.]

Raad Abu Foull, 43, a commander in the Popular Resistance Committees militant group, was killed with his wife in their car in the northern town of Beit Lahiya, medics said. The military confirmed hitting a car transporting a "rocket-manufacturing cell".

[Don’t get this. Commander of a militant group. Sounds like an army rank? And what’s up with the rockets. Pals are planning a trip to the moon? I thought they were starved to bits in ragged clothes and dirty faces, like they show on the telly… ]

A strike on Thursday night targeted a car in the northern Gaza Strip that was carrying members of the radical Islamic Jihad movement, killing two of them, medical sources said.

[Another Pals army soldier-guy? This time radical. The one before was just militant. Seems like I need a roadmap to read this. Wait, I think I heard something about a roadmap before. Forget it. Good thing AFP has these "medical sources" - they are always so trustworthy!]

However, the blast also hit a donkey cart traveling behind the car, killing the woman who was driving it and seriously wounding her passenger, a child. Two pedestrians were also hurt.

[What did the dumb donkey ever do to the State of Israel? These guys are just evil bastards. Although, could not say it like that. Better – Do not agree with Israeli policy in Gaza. Everyone know what that means. Shooting at the donkey!..]

In another night-time hit, two Hamas militants were killed when a missile struck a car in the southern Gaza Strip, medical sources said.

[They sure seem to hit a lot of military guys. Just when I thought it was the civilians and donkeys they were after. "medical sources" again - told you them is good.]

The Palestinians slammed the raids on Gaza -- which have killed 30 people in three days -- and appealed to Israel's main ally the United States to intervene to preserve renewed peace efforts.

[And who the heck wouldn’t. 30 people in three days. That’s like … Carry the three… Lot’s of people each day. For how long have the Jews been at it, I wander?]

"The Israeli raids and military escalations aim to deliver a blow to the Palestinian-Israeli negotiations," Nabil Abu Rudeina, spokesman for president Mahmud Abbas, told AFP.

[Thank G-d somebody is looking for a solution. That nice Mahmud Abbas guy at least seems concerned.]

A day after US President George W. Bush ended a visit to the region during which he predicted the two sides would sign a peace treaty within a year, Abu Rudeina called on Washington to "intervene rapidly to prevent a further deterioration that may spin out of control, and to preserve the historical chance for peace."

[Now this is just stupid. The American President goes to all that trouble to go to that shit-country hoping to help Israel make peace. And now they are screwing with that? What the hell do they want? They just like the war and killing? Can’t live without it?

I demand to know why, after everything this country has done to help Israel, the Jews would jeopardize a “historical chance for peace”!!!]

The United States urged Israel to avoid the loss of innocent life in the Gaza Strip, but defended the Jewish state's right to strike against rocket and mortar attacks from Islamic militants.

[I hope that “avoid the loss of innocent life” is diplomat speak for spanking. But what’s that about Islamic militants? Where do they come from? Do they persuade Jews to convert to Islam with strong words? Threats? Water-boarding?

And that’s the first time I hear about rocket and mortar attacks. Attacks where? Against whom? Hitting what?]

For his part, UN chief Ban Ki-moon expressed alarm over the mounting violence and urged "maximum restraint" by Israeli forces as well as an end to sniper and rocket fire into the Jewish state.

[I say, it’s about time UN chimed in and Ban Ki would moon Israel. Not very diplomatic, but probably more effective and a lot more spontaneous that you State Department.

Don’t get that last bit about “an end to sniper and rocket fire”. Who is doing the firing, I wander? Must be the Lebanese or Syrians? Is Iran up to something here? Very confusing that Middle East crap. Too many players. Need a picture card deck like we had in Bagdad… ]

The strikes came as Olmert said Israel would keep attacking gunmen in Gaza.

[That maggot does not seem to care much about either our President, the State Department or the Moonie UN guy. What an effrontery! What?! I subscribe to a word a day on yahoo 360. I am quite vocabularied, if you must know.]

"We cannot accept the continuation of fire against our citizens and we will continue to react with intelligence and with the most precision possible to put an end to the terrorist fire, all the while trying to avoid civilian victims," Olmert said in Tel Aviv.

[What the hell does it have to do with Gaza? What did the folks living peaceably in Gaza ever do to deserve this? Someone fires at you – fire back at them, but keep the hell away from the strip!]

The upsurge in violence comes despite renewed peace talks between Israel and the Palestinians, with the two sides on Monday starting discussions on the most intractable issues of their decades-long conflict.

[Peace talks – good. Violence – bad. What the hell is wrong with the Jews? Are they really that different from you and me? ]

Earlier Deputy Prime Minister Haim Ramon, a close Olmert ally, told army radio "the military and economic pressure as well as the international isolation of the Gaza Strip will end up producing results."

[There they go again, calling the deliberate slaughter of the innocents “military pressure”. Degenerates they all, I tell you.]

But he ruled out talks with Hamas, which refuses to recognise Israel, and said the Gaza operations would halt if militants stopped firing rockets and mortars.

[Not getting it again. They are talking, but they are not talking? Come again? This is the first mention of these Hamas fellows. Heard they are bad news. Would they have something to do with “firing rockets and mortars”? Who writes this crap? Say it as you mean it – what happened and when?]

"There is no need to negotiate with Hamas. If the rocket firings stop, we will cease operating in the Gaza Strip," Ramon said.

[I’ll go on a limb here and make a call on this: I think this Ramon chap is an Israeli. Unless he is a Pal. Or one of those Islamic water-boarding guys. Which is kind of important on account that beyond the fact that Israelis are doing a lot of killing, I just can’t get who is firing at whom, where and why!!!!!!!! ]

Israel has conducted regular operations against militants in Gaza aiming to stop rocket and mortar fire from the territory.

[Come again? I just spent a fucking half an hour reading your article and now you tell me?! It does appear that these “militants”, which does not sound very civilian to me, are firing rockets and mortars from Gaza? Into Israel? So the whole bit above is actually about an Israeli RESPONSE to that?

Let me tell you this, if any shit-face “militants” would throw a rock at my Crystal City, Texas, there will be US B-52s doing some neat carpet bombing on the other side of that border. Heck, we do that in Iraq every other day and they have never as much as pissed across the border!]

Some 130 people, mostly militants, have died in Gaza in the strikes since Israelis and Palestinians formally relaunched the Middle East peace process in late November.

[Seems like they need a new name for the “Middle East peace process”. Something more like “Let the killing begin!”…]

Hamas supremo Khaled Meshaal told reporters at his base in Damascus that Bush's eight-day Middle East tour "gave cover to this massacre," and he called on the Palestinian president to halt the "absurd" peace talks with Israel.

[Hamas again. Them terrorists, no? Nice title: supremo. (Note to self – print new business cards.) Never heard a terrorist complain about a massacre. Would that be such a bad thing? Kind of wish, to hear bin laden squeal about us doing the massacre to his bad boys. Or a bloodbath. Let’s see: “I deplore today’s carnage against my fellow terror gang bomber martyrs lads”, Osama was quoted in New York Times this morning.” Yeah, that will be the day!]

Hamas responded to Tuesday's deaths by firing, for the first time in months, a volley of several dozen rockets into Israel, lightly wounding 10 people.

[WTF, “several dozen rockets”? That’s more that we fired last fourth of July. And that scared my three year old to tears. Those are rockets with, like, explosives in them? They go boom on top of your roof any time day or night? Who wrote this trash again? Would it kill you to start from the beginning, you slimebucket?]

More than 30 rockets slammed into southern Israel on Thursday, causing some damage but no casualties, the army said. Hamas claimed responsibility for firing a barrage against the hard-hit town of Sderot.

[No kidding! 30 rockets a day. No wander Israelis are pissed. This is the first mention of the town of Sderot. Can’t see my family living like that. My gun collection is not just for show and tell…]

The home-made projectiles are notoriously inaccurate and rarely cause casualties, but leave Israelis living near the Gaza border in a permanent state of fear.

[permanent state of fear… Sderot… rockets and mortars… What’s the complaint from the nice “militants” from Gaza again?]

Just to prove that I wasn't kidding, here is my word of the day: cuddlingus. (Note to self; Write it down, surprise someone at work tomorrow.) Feel better now. Not complicated like this Middle East hooey.

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I am a cantankerous man living and working in the Silicon Valley where reading books is an abomination that is virtually unheard of, frowned upon and may be detrimental to one's career. I avoid censure by never conceding that I ever read or owned a book in my life. If anyone accidentally glimpses my scant proficiency in any subject matter, I immediately accredit it to having glanced at DrudgeReport that day.

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